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Fish or Dog? Biker Babe’s New Toy; Is Ty a Redneck? A Tale of Two Oreos (Size Does Matter); Slide #1 Back in Action

I am in deep doo-doo. It’s a long story, so I’ll start at the beginning. I was having some frustrations with repairs to The Coach and with my new Windows 8 computer, which was not connecting to the Wi-Fi at the RV shop. My Lovely Bride took pity on me and said, “I’m going to run out and get some salmon for dinner.” She is so considerate and sweet; she knows that salmon is one of my favorite meals. So, off she goes… meanwhile, I walked the puppies in their favorite rabbit hunting ground.

We had just returned to our home on wheels when Suzanne returned from Safeway with a big smile on her face. “I’ve got dinner under control. You go sit down and have a glass of wine.” Well, this was going to be a treat. A few minutes later, the dinner bell rang, and we sat down to a feast. Perfectly prepared salmon, spinach and Asiago cheese-sprinkled bread… a meal fit for a king. As we were eating, Suzanne mentioned what a bargain the Keta salmon was… she even asked the fishmonger if it was overdate or anything, because she had never seen salmon marked down to $2.00/pound (this particular type was normally $7.99). He replied that, no, it was fine, they had just over-ordered, and their customers were reaping the benefits of their mistake. Great! I said to her, “Keta salmon… I’m not familiar with that particular fish…” So, I looked it up on Google right in the middle of the meal. (MISTAKE #1) 

I shared with her the Wikipedia entry for “Keta salmon (Oncorhynchus keta), also known as chum or dog salmon, the least commercially valuable salmon. Despite being extremely plentiful in Alaska, commercial fishermen often choose NOT to fish for them because of their low market value…” Also, it’s what the Eskimos used to feed their dogs before Alpo arrived in Univik. (MISTAKE #2)

Okay, I might have survived this event unscathed had I not started laughing and barking like a dog… (MISTAKE #3) Rudy and Gretchen looked at me in awe, but My Lovely Bride looked at me coldly after my fourth round of barking and said very quietly, “If you don’t stop, you’ll be wearing your glass of red wine on your white polo shirt.”  (Sometimes you just never know what’s going to make your bride laugh, cry or assault you.) Smack!

On a brighter note, while Suzanne was giving a reading the other day, I was dispatched to REI (Recreational Equipment, Inc., an “outdoorsy stuff” co-op) to get her a new toy. She has been complaining about the bike rack we have been using for the past couple of years.  She said the bikes were “all kerschlimmel,” which is allegedly Pennsylvania Dutch for hanging crooked and looking like the Beverly Hillbillies.  While we were at an Estes Park trailhead, she saw just the kind she’s always wanted. (Great, I thought, recalling the old Navy saying… “Better is the enemy of good enough…”). After navigating terrible weekend traffic on I-25 and then in downtown Denver, I arrived at REI, purchased and loaded a new Thule platform-style bike rack. Here is Biker Babe admiring the newly-installed equipment on our toad.
Today, Suzanne got together with two friends at Pinocchio’s Italian Restaurant in Longmont, Colorado. Rusty is Suzanne’s good friend Elizabeth’s cousin. Suzanne had given a very touching and evidential reading to Annell’s daughter/Rusty’s goddaughter last year. Annell had ordered Messages of Hope for a friend, and Suzanne was happy to be able to deliver it in person. This was also the first opportunity for the ladies to get together since we returned to the Denver area.

Okay, back to the outdoors… and trees… I’m not talking about broccoli, but real trees. We passed this beauty on a recent hike near the Cache le Poudre River. It looks like it’s growing right out of a granite boulder!
Speaking of the outdoors, you cannot think about American outdoorsmen without at least a passing reference to “rednecks”. What is a “redneck”, really? Well, historically, in Scotland in the 1640s, the original term referred to a group of Presbyterians who objected to rule by bishops, and in the days preceding the rise of Oliver Cromwell and the Bishop’s War, wore red neck cloths to display their rebellious nature. The earliest documented usage of the term refers to Presbyterians of Fayetteville, North Carolina. Today, it is a term often used derogatorily by Eastern liberals against Southern conservatives. This leads into our next paragraph…

Every now and then I see a toy I want. I’m not talking about Heidi Klum, but trucks… BIG trucks… real REDNECK trucks. I found this one in a lot near Malmstrom AFB. I thought that maybe I could use it back in The Villages for driving the two miles to the grocery, or maybe in lieu of a golf cart on those rare days when I hit the links. (Or maybe I could use this to carry elk carcasses back from a Morse family hunting trip…) But then there is the issue of not being able to fit it into the garage without some serious modifications to our house roof line, but I’m sure My Lovely Bride would understand.  (Ya’ think?)

Speaking of redneck paraphernalia, I found this business just a half mile from where The Coach is being repaired. Was finding this sign “a synchronicity”, or just “a sign”? Hmmmm….
Next, a “Tale of Two Oreos”… My Lovely Bride recalled from our last trip to Canada that I had really enjoyed the different taste of Oreos made in that part of North America. So, on visit to Alberta, she bought three packages of Canadian Double-Stuffed Oreos. “What difference can their be?”, you ask? Well, as an Oreo Expert Class V, I can affirm that they are very different. Of course, they share the same “baker” or “manufacturer”, depending on your level of gastronomic selectivity.
However, Canadian Oreos (also known as “biscuits sandwichs au chocolat” to our French-speaking neighbors, and sandwiches de galletas de chocolate to our Hispanic neighbors… dontcha love political correctness in packaging?) shown on the left are smaller and slightly sweeter, and the cookie part much more dense than their American counterparts at right. “How dense?”, you ask?
Well, I like my Oreos refrigerated. On the first bite of a cold Canadian (Canadien?) Oreo, I almost broke an incisor… It was as hard as rock! I had to soak it in milk for a minute or two to make it safe to eat. Then I realized why it was so hard… the Canucks use them as practice hockey pucks for grade schoolers!
Finally, thanks to hard work by Expert RV Technicians David and Robert, we achieved success in getting Slide #1 repaired, effectively increasing our usable living area by 40%. Here is Her Highness relaxing and celebrating in luxury on her pull-out couch…

1 Comment

  • Jennifer
    Posted September 2, 2013 at 7:10 pm

    That red-neck trailer sign is too funny, TY….
    They should have one of those in NC….


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